Differentiated Instruction

Differentiation: the process of tailoring lessons to meet each student's individual interests, strengths, and needs.  

Homeschooling: see above

It often surprises people that there aren’t many things I can take from my time as a teacher that have helped in our homeschool journey. So, I’m here to share one takeaway from my time in grad school and my experience in the classroom that has helped develop me as a homeschool mom, and that is the process of differentiating instruction. Last week put a spotlight on that in the most beautiful way. This semester in our co op, I’ve been teaching a building class for Charlie’s age group. These little engineers blow my mind every week, and the moments of planned and on-the-fly differentiating happen weekly as well. But recently we had actual building kits. Like hammer, nails, screws, wood glue building sets. With step by step instructions. I was a little wary of how it might go with my little buddies who don’t love directions like that. 

Children inherently think outside the box. Until and unless they’re told not to. The freedom in homeschooling allows for my kids and their friends who I get to teach, is that there isn’t really anyone telling them not to think outside that box. They're actually encouraged to follow their outside-the-box thinking. And let me tell you, it is so very cool to see where it takes them! And while there is a time and place for following stringent directions, my class full of 5-7 year olds isn’t one of them. 

So let me paint you the picture;

After covering all the safety measures of children using hammers, nails and screwdrivers, the kids were ready to open their kits and begin building. In my mind, I thought we would all do the first step together, then move onto the next, and so on. (Take note-I used to teach a classroom full of public school children…following directions to a T was necessary, important and praised.) 

What unfolded in my classroom that morning was certainly not what my holding-on-for-dear-life-teacher-brain had envisioned. Sure, there were a few kids who wanted to follow the steps in order and sought the reassurance they were doing it right and ready to move to the next step. But then there were the ones who didn’t. My son being one of them. He moved himself to an empty table, laid out all the materials in front of him and began putting things together simply because they looked like they should go together. First, I panicked and was a bit annoyed with him, if I'm being honest. They were making binoculars and if he didn’t put it together correctly it wouldn’t work. Then I saw his determination to simply complete a task, just build. 

He had the picture and word directions in front of him but barely glanced at them, so I let him be (after one minor correction of showing that the reason what he was doing wasn’t working was because he was using a screw instead of a nail.) He didn’t want to hear it from me, so I walked away only to glance over my shoulder to see him hammering a nail where he was previously trying to drive in a screw.

Another one of my kiddos asked if he could go on building without waiting for everyone to get to the next step, to which I said of course. This kid was actually looking at the pictures and interpreting them himself. The curve of his lens was backwards and one of the wood pieces was upside down, but he worked diligently. And yet another who was trying very hard to “keep up” until I told him that everyone was going at their own pace and he could too, and that if he needed any help, I was there for him. I saw him relax after that and begin to do his own thing until he came across a problem which he solved himself. The table was shaking from his peers hammering and he couldn’t align the nail properly which was frustrating him. So he took his things and moved to an empty table and completed his next few steps there. 

Meanwhile, back in Charlie land, a complete set was built. Were there pieces facing the “wrong” direction? Yes. Was each piece of wood perfectly aligned with its partner? Nope. But did I have a kid beaming at me with a finished product that he made all by himself? Yes. Yes, I did. And it made me so proud watching these kids figure this all out. Each had a set of binoculars that they were so proud to have built. Were these binoculars going to help them truly see things far away? Doubtful. And my students (which I don't really like to call them, because I see myself as more of a facilitator than a teacher and them more as collaborators than students...but that's another blog post) helped me to see that didn’t matter. These kids are 5, 6 and 7 years old. There will be a time they’ll need to follow the directions closely in order to have a working end product. But they helped me to see I am solely laying the foundation for those future instances.

 

The week prior to this lesson, my kids and I read a book about the man who created the first balloons for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (Tony Sarg, look him up, it’s pretty cool) and what he was like as a child. When he was six years old, his dad gave him a chore to feed the chickens at 6:00 every morning. Little Tony didn’t want to get out of bed at 6 am so he rigged up a pulley system that went from his bedroom window to the door of the chicken coop. He put the food out in the evening before he went to sleep and closed the chickens in the coop. When his alarm went off at 6 am, he sat up in bed, pulled the string from his bedroom window, opening the chicken coop door and letting all the chickens out to eat the feed he left the night before. Without ever leaving the warmth of his bed.

This made us think; most of the books we’ve read about famous inventors, scientists and engineers, all tell a similar story of their younger selves. Thomas Edison, the Wright Brothers, Albert Einstein…all “different” kids who didn't do things the way society (and/or their teachers) said they should. They tinkered and played and made things work in ways people didn’t think they could. Imagine if these children stopped questioning, wondering, tinkering and playing in a way that made sense to them. Their inventions were rarely, if ever, perfect the first time or two, or three, or more! But they kept pushing forward, trying in a different way, skipping over a few steps or adding in their own. But they created the light bulb, an airplane and the freaking theory of relativity! Maybe I should have seen what would happen if I didn't point out to Charlie to use a nail instead of a screw! 

Anyhow, my point is if we are meant to educate our children, why can’t we do that in a way that is most beneficial for them? I used to love coming up with ways to differentiate in my classroom; something for the kids who needed a challenge, something for the kids who needed a little extra time or help. And now? All we do is differentiated instruction! I love that I just continue to recognize more and more ways that homeschooling is right for us. Their world is open, their education is endless and their drive and passion to learn is infinite. And me? I'm just lucky to be part of it.

Filling Back Up

I remember reading an article early on in my parenting about a mom who asked for a night in a hotel for Mother’s Day. I also remember my reaction to that article and that request. I thought it was strange, to put it kindly. I waited my whole life to be a mom, I loved being a mom and I couldn’t imagine requesting to not only have a specific planned time away from my child, but on Mother’s Day of all times! I’m not proud to admit it, but I definitely judged the mom featured in the article. 

Cut to me, sitting in a hotel room writing this, a number of years later. It’s not Mother’s Day, but a random Tuesday where I have chosen to take time for me. It still even makes me uncomfortable to say out loud and the fear of being judged is there too. What I needed to learn was that while I haven’t ever felt like I lost myself in parenting, I have lost something. My ability to take care of myself. I published a whole piece once about how I actually found myself in motherhood, but it doesn’t mean I don’t need to replenish in order to function at my best. My best as a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. 

So, real talk coming in here- the last month or so was hard. My mental health was not okay. On top of being bipolar and suffering from often crippling anxiety, I began feeling like I was drowning. I began seeing a version of myself that disappointed me, made me feel weak, and honestly, scared me. I am a good mom. Like, a really good one. But I wasn’t seeing that mom in myself. I enjoy exploring outdoors with my kids, doing projects and crafts, reading hundreds of books, answering the why’s and working together to find the answers to the ones I don’t know. I enjoy the parts of motherhood some find mundane, like packing lunches and sudsing up a mini human’s little blonde head. I love the hard parts of parenting because they challenge me and make me better. But recently, I got lost. The projects and crafts were more of a chore, I would set them up to paint or play with clay solely so I could sit on the couch and do nothing. I’d read books but wasn’t feeling the joy of watching their eyes light up with wonderment at each page. The questions became incessant and annoying rather than the usual awesome opportunity to learn together. Packing lunches and other mom duties I’ve grown to love became endless chores I slugged my way through.

And on top of all of those changes, I found my patience thin and my monster coming out far more often than I care to admit. I would yell, snap and scream at things I would normally be able to either handle calmly or walk away from to catch my breath for a minute. I worked hard in the early years of toddlerhood, then mother of two-hood to research the psychology of children, the psychology of positive parenting. I was good at it. But recently? I lost all those tools and succumbed to yelling, threatening and not so positive behaviors. I don’t mean I was like this ALL the time. I just found my reactions were bigger and angrier than usual more than I would have liked. But that means all my kids saw was inconsistency. Mommy was kind, gentle and helpful when I spilled something this morning, and now she is freaking out and yelling when I spilled something tonight. 

I saw it in their reactions. When one would have some sort of accident; spill something, break something, get paint on something, etc., they’d immediately say “sorry mommy! I’m sorry! It was an accident!” and my heart would crumble because I knew what was making them react like that. 

My normal response to those types of situations? “That’s okay, what can we do to fix it?” Get a paper towel, a wipe, some glue or tape, etc. then we fix the problem together. But the inconsistency in my parenting was not just killing me, it was hurting and confusing them. Am I a perfect positive parent at all times normally? No. Gosh, no. But my reactions and general attitude sucked for a bit recently. Sucked bad. And it’s because I was burnt out. I am a stay at home and homeschooling mom. I do everything with and for my kids. And I love that I am able to live life like this. I get to watch them learn and grow and communicate, make mistakes, and navigate their way through life. I am here for it all. And happy to be so. But it also means that I lost myself in giving. Physically and emotionally completely depleted and drained. Drained and numb. My inconsistency and terrible attitude, quick temper, irritability, all came from being empty. So empty I felt like I was a shell of the person I know myself to be. 

So, here I am in a hotel. By myself. Filling back up so I can get back to the version of me I love. The mom who is caring, understanding, open and healthy. The friend who is there when you need her, the wife who doesn’t walk past her husband without pausing for a kiss because her mind is reeling with the thousand things she needs to get done. I know I bring a lot of my stress on myself. I want my kids to have the best, I want to be there for them, I want to provide opportunities for them to thrive. I am in constant GO mode. I’m currently working on how to ensure I don’t fall below empty again. I need to rely on others and not feel like I am putting someone out, I need to accept help when it’s offered and I need to stop feeling selfish or guilty for taking time for myself. I’m journaling again, I’m setting healthy boundaries for myself and I am working on being more mindful of how I’m feeling so I don’t get to a place where I just want to sit on the couch and scroll mindlessly on my phone just to go blank for a few minutes. 

I am a work in progress and it shows by the fact that I am sitting here writing this on a trip away from my family just for me when I hardcore judged that mom in the article years ago for doing the same thing. And I am sending an apology to that mom for being a judgy jerk and doubting her choices. Good for her for knowing what she needs, acknowledging her feelings and making time to take care of herself. Now it’s my turn.

Unschooling? No Way! Well...Actually...

No curriculum. No workbooks. No set time for instruction. Three statements and ideas that were fairly anxiety inducing a mere two years ago. Now? No curriculum. Workbooks left on a shelf with arts and crafts. Instruction all day everyday. 

What changed? I followed my heart and stopped listening to my head (kind of...) When I first heard of unschooling (loosely defined as an informal way of learning/educating, which encourages learner-chosen activities as the main-and often only- way to learn), I scoffed and knew that would never be for us. Upon entry into our first full year of homeschooling, I purchased a few different curricula, transformed a room in our house into a classroom, complete with parts of speech posters, sight word cards and math equations splayed across the walls. An entire bookshelf was dedicated to schoolwork; workbooks, worksheets divided into color coded folders, a teacher planner, a kid-friendly calendar, highlighters, crayons, markers, pencils, erasers, glue, scissors, mini whiteboards and notebooks. One of my favorite parts of teaching, after all, was setting up the classroom and organizing all the things. I was ready.

Ready for what? To re create my public school classroom in my home. Ready to teach my first grader all the things I knew she needed to know by the end of first grade. Ready to meet all the standards set forth by the state for my then six year old. And ready to do it all in a timely manner, just as I had done in my classroom over the years. 

But I wasn't teaching in a classroom and I wasn't teaching 20+ students. I had one individual who learns best in one way in some areas and best in another way in other areas. I got to know this individual. I watched her thrive, I watched her struggle, I watched her enjoy having mom as a teacher and hate having mom as a teacher. I don't know when it changed, it was gradual I guess. I began noticing the moments she loved having mom as a teacher were the natural moments we would learn together or I could share information with her without sitting her down and directly and purposefully teaching her a lesson. 

We spent less and less time in the "classroom" and more and more time reading in front of the fire, googling newfound interests in the kitchen, poring over books at the library, observing a robin's nest from start of building to fledglings leaving the nest, taking our workbooks to park benches and beach picnic tables, spending more time at those places while leaving the workbooks in the car...then at home...then just about forgotten entirely. 

The nagging voice in my head said, "she needs more instruction! She needs to know how to write multiple paragraph stories with correct spelling! She needs to learn mathematical operations and algebraic thinking!" The voice was loud. The voice was my upbringing in public education, my time teaching in public and private schools, it was my societal knowledge of what's expected, it was my Master's Degree in Elementary Education.

I acknowledged the voice for a while. I let it make me feel guilty every time we went for a hike, played at the beach or spent the morning painting instead of sitting down and doing lessons. But then I started leaning into her interests. In public school I would teach a unit to the class and at the end of the unit we were finished. Students who had more questions or a burning interest to delve further into a subject (i.e. the solar system, moon phases, non fiction books, fairy tales, poetry, etc.) were told they would have to do that on their own time. I wasn't afforded the time as an educator to do anything but move onto what was next on the list of standards we needed to complete in 180 days.

Now? Now I had a child interested in dog clicker training because a character in a book we read was helping her aunt train dogs. So we went to the library and checked out every book we could find about dog clicker training; the psychology behind it, how it works, what breeds it works best with, how and where to begin. We watched videos of professional dog trainers. And finally, we purchased a clicker and she began proudly and effectively clicker training our pup.

I found myself making more and more time and more and more space to follow these interests. She wanted to start a business, so she took what she learned in a Sunday school service project and began making dog toys. Then she added cat toys. Then she applied to be part of a children's entrepreneur fair. She prepped for weeks, learned about business models, advertising, start up costs and investors. Not to mention the time she spent actually making the products. Then, the day of the fair came, she greeted customers, did the math to add up their purchase totals, made change for them, wrapped up the product and handed it with a smile and "thank you!" She made some money, won an award, walked away with only a few pet toys left in her inventory and beaming with pride.

This is all real life experience. We were far from workbooks and curriculum, yet she was learning SO much. So after months of denying it myself, I finally admitted out loud that we are unschooling. All we do is informal, interest-led learning. The nagging voice is still there, (sometimes still making me wince when I say "we unschool") it yells things like "what about her spelling and handwriting? what about her math skills? have you given her a DRA lately?" 

The less I pushed curriculum and standard based lessons, the more she did on her own. She came out of her room one day and excitedly told me she was on chapter 6 of a book a friend gave her. I said, "chapter 6 of what?" And lo and behold she was reading a full blown chapter book. No pictures, just text (the text she would tell me when sitting to read together was "too long, too many words, you read that part.") I asked her to tell me about it and she gave a full synopsis, with character names, setting and plot lines. Mom's mind blown. Another time? She pulled an old workbook off the shelf and asked me to make a point system for each page completed to earn enough points to get a new, highly coveted stuffed animal. She would wake up, go straight to the kitchen table and work independently for more than half an hour. She felt pride in her work, would ask for help as needed, and on she would go. She earned that stuffed animal in less than 48 hours. 

Education is happening here. It may not (no...it definitely doesn't) follow the guidelines or the common core standards I was taught in grad school or during my time in the actual profession of teaching. But it's happening in an organic way that means something to her. And what does that mean? She loves to learn. She's learned how to learn. And she remembers everything because SHE chose to learn it.

Does this work for everyone? No. Heck, I was adamant it would never work for me, but here we are. If things change at some point, we'll change our method of homeschooling. Because the biggest lesson I've learned as a homeschool mom is that it is an everchanging and ever evolving way to educate and way to learn. And my biggest mantra as a parent has always been "do what works until it doesn't work anymore, then find something else that does." 

And that nagging voice? It's definitely still there...not as loud, and I am able to quiet it by ensuring we do real world things that I know she will actually need to know. When she wants to write and can't spell something, she asks and I give a snippet of a phonics lesson while I cook dinner and she writes new song lyrics at the kitchen table. When we go to the grocery store we discuss estimation, rounding up and down, addition, multiplication and other need-to-know math concepts. While we also discuss life lessons, like how to pack a grocery bag with heavier things on the bottom and lighter things like bread on top so it doesn't get smushed. 

And while I would like to say that I have come to admire and stand firm in our way of home educating solely from within myself, I admit one big reason I am able to quiet the nags is because I had another homeschool mom point something out to me. It was an ah-ha moment I didn't know I needed. Something I'm sure others who choose to unschool may not even need, but with all that's ingrained in me educationally, I did. 

While telling a homeschooling mom friend of mine how I admire her structure around homeschool, her ability to sit her children down, teach them a lesson, have them produce meaningful work and complete assessments (all that was instilled in me as an educator,) she said something that will stick with me. She explained that because I have a background in education, I make every moment a teachable one. Everything we do all day long is an opportunity for me to teach and an opportunity for my kids to learn meaningful lessons. She said she has no background in education and simply doesn't have the skillset or trust in herself to do what I do. She said she needs the curriculum not just for her kids but for her; to show her as the teacher what to teach, when to teach it and how to teach it. 

What works for one, might not work for others and that's okay; better than okay! It's what we need; different learners, different educators, different outcomes. So my inner formally educated voice took a deep sigh of relief, coming to the realization that all our kids are getting what they need when they need it because we are present. And what's better than being present for the life happening right in front of you? I don't believe I can think of anything.

First Day of School

September 1, 2015

Dear Kennerly,

Today was your very first day of school. Yes, you are only 19 months old, but off to school you went! Since I have been blessed to be able to stay home with you, we have been going to classes and places for you to interact with other kids your age for quite some time. You started swim class at 5 months, music class when you were one and we go to playgrounds all the time for you to explore and meet other people your size (or, usually bigger;) But, being a teacher myself, I wanted to make sure you were getting all you could get, and as much as I cherish our time together, I need to be a bit selfless and share you with the world so that you can learn, grow and see things with AND without me by your side.

Daddy and I talked about when we would want to look into a preschool program for you and we decided a Two's program would be a good time. We didn't see a need for you to go earlier, plus you won't be two until January anyway so really you would be two and a half going in if we started you next Fall and that suited us fine. A few months went by, your curiosity, vocabulary and vision of the world around you continued to grow. We still went to music and swim class every week, played with friends, learned new things, but I started to think you might be ready for something more. So, we talked about it again and decided to check into some schools in the area for a few days a week, just to see.

The first school we toured, we loved. They seemed to really have their stuff together, it was clean, well managed and adorable:) I also think that having worked in a preschool, I had an idea of what to look for and what to look out for. There were no red flags and it all felt like a place our family could fit in. We left the tour, talked about it and signed you up that day. Two days a week for four hours. In mommy time, that is an eternity. I have never been consistently away from you for any extended period of time, we've never hired anyone other than family as a babysitter and the thought of you being in someone else's care for that period of time, while exciting, was scary for me too. But I know it's the best for you and also will be good for me. I'm a firm believer in that parent's are better at parenting when they have some time to themselves. Even if that just means a non interrupted shower!

So, today we packed up your lunch, dressed you for a day of fun, and off we went to bring you to your first day. We met your teacher and saw your classroom last week at the meet and greet and you enjoyed every minute of that night so you were excited to see the room again. If it hadn't been for the loud door making a big noise right as we dropped you off, I don't think you would have noticed that we left. You cried for a minute because the sound startled you, then you were fine and playing with baby dolls again. You waved at us from the classroom window and off we went. Daddy said he saw your lip start to quiver, and I am very thankful I missed that because I'm not sure I could have walked away.

We get a daily report of what you're doing and when we picked you up your teachers said you had a wonderful day. That when we left you played and played then stopped, looked around, said "mommy? daddy?" but went back to playing. All that was going through my mind all day was "if she were really upset, they would just call us right?" to which Daddy continued to reassure me that, yes, they would call and no, you were not crying all day.

Then, we received pictures of you enjoying school! This was the best part (other than you lighting up and saying, "Mommy! Daddy!" when you saw is through the window at pickup) of the day!

Fun at recess driving the car and saying, "beep! beep!"

Your teacher said you got to choose which color paint
 you wanted, then you
 had fun painting and asked for more when you needed it:)

So, you had a wonderful first day and we're so proud of you!

Love, 

Mommy & Daddy

Changes and Staying the Same

Last week Kennerly and I took a mommy/daughter road trip to Virginia. A very good friend (and sorority sister) of mine was getting married and it gave us the perfect opportunity to make a little trip out of it. I grew up in Fairfax, most of my friends still live there and until recently most of my immediate family (minus Cameron who is up here with me...or rather, I'm up here with him...) live there.

It's always been a struggle to get everything in while I'm there. Ever since I moved to Connecticut, I try to plan it all out when I go down to make sure I am able to split time between family, high school friends and college friends. I always stayed with my parents, maybe some nights with the mini White's because how can you say no to those little niece and nephew faces when they ask if Auntie Keek is gonna have a sleepover with them?! I never stayed with friends, M7 or Zeta. Now that my parents live in CT, I no longer really have a home base down there. My childhood home is no longer ours. That's a whole other blog though...

Jaime and Clifton are the best and are obviously happy to have me whenever I am in town, and I am so grateful that they have offered up their home as my new home base down there. But it got me thinking that why not make a trip to stay with a friend? And what better friend than one who has a little nugget only six weeks older than mine?! Enter: Annie Couns. My pledge sister, my soulmate, my best of the best. Anna and I really do have a connection that is on another level, it's been there from when we first met and has only grown stronger throughout the years. The fact that we get to do this mommy thing together is beyond a blessing. We talk pretty much everyday, texting about diaper rashes, quirky toddler behavior, recipes, water tables, amazon prime orders, you name it. So when I was planning my trip for Jessica's wedding, I said hey! why not extend the trip and have an actual visit with Anna?!

As I mentioned before, my trips to VA are usually jam packed with family and it's hard to get to see everyone I want to spend time with. And even though Anna lives in Northern Virginia, it isn't very close to where I usually stay. So, this time I decided to stay with her. We had two whole days of pure Feedy and Kennie bliss! (Dennis and Ivy were there too, and definitely added to the fun:)

It was so awesome to spend uninterrupted time with Anna and to watch our girls play together. Fiona taught Kennerly how to go through the dog door, Kennerly attempted showing Fiona how fun pools are, they played with chalk, bubbles and water tables, they ate meals together, clinked sippy cups to cheers, shared food, wore matching outfits, went to music class and made lots of memories.

Then, I dropped Kennie off with Uncle Clif and Auntie Jaime for my first full overnight away from my baby. Definitely not the easiest thing I've ever had to do. She was fine...I wasn't worried about her. Me on the other hand? A bit of a wreck. But I knew where I was headed and that was to a place full of Zetas, a lot of whom were in the same boat without their babies!

Anna, Dennis and I headed off for our road trip to Reedville. When we got there, we saw another pledge sister of ours, Erin, then Nicole and Brad and tiny baby Bailey (that baby got to come to the wedding with us;) And Kris, who I have always adored for many reasons, most of which because he's just a really good guy, but also because he reminds me of my oldest brother and happens to be (fraternity) brothers with Clifton and married to one of my favorite people on the planet, Margie!

A big group of us went out to dinner and had a great time catching up and enjoying one another's company. Then it was wedding time! After Melanie and I were left behind at the restaurant with no one to follow...we found our way to the ceremony site! Which was FULL of Zetas and Longwood alum! This was the closest I have been to a college reunion, so thank you Jessica for getting married!

It was all so beautiful, and it was absolute bliss looking around and seeing so many faces from my college years. Soooometimes I get social anxiety and I told myself to just say hi to everyone and have fun. The problem is...Facebook. I know a lot of what is going on in these people's lives even though I haven't seen them in years, and maybe even some I am FB friends with who I haven't ever met or only met a few times on a random Richmond visit. So, I could pretend to just be casual and ask how things are, what's going on in your life? Or I could drink way too much wine and blabber on about how beautiful said Facebook Zeta friends are...(I'm lookin' at you, Danielle Beckner...Walton:)

Either way, I saw so many beautiful faces I haven't seen in way too long and I had SO much fun hanging out and dancing with these girls. It was like nothing had changed, we were all on a dance floor, drinks in hand, singing (screaming) along with the music, jumping up and down, having the time of our lives. Take away Reedville, replace with Farmville and you have us almost 10 years ago. It amazes me how much stays the same even throughout all the change. We are engaged, married, living with a boy, have babies, own homes, are pregnant...but there we were, on a dance floor bouncing and smiling like we were 21 on bar night in Farmville. This time we had a nice, adult dinner instead of drinking Arbor Mist or Natty on the hall, we were celebrating a union of love instead of a 21st birthday, but the feelings were the same, the people were the same and I cannot say enough how much it means to me to have such wonderful women in my life. So, thank you Longwood, thank you Zeta and thank you MRS. FEARNS for a giving us a reason to do it all!

Let's do it again soon...with even more Zeta's!!!

16 Months (minus a day)

Dear Kennerly,

You are one day shy of being 16 months old. You are saying all kinds of words, stringing chains of signs together to convey your wants or needs (or demands!) and running EVERYwhere. You have one speed, GO!

Just within the past few weeks you started pointing at things and saying what they are or what you want from them. The most frequent are "go, go" when you climb onto your wheelie zebra and want a push, then "ball" and "car," which you say slowly twice at a time, "ball.....ball" "car....car." You say names, like Nanny and Poppa and Mommy and Daddy and for the first time this weekend you said, "Coco" for Cohen! That was very exciting!

If it isn't words for objects or people you're saying, it's sounds, before we even get to the playroom, as soon as we're headed in that direction you start making the sound for an elephant and putting your arm up as the trunk. You know your elephant lives in the playroom with his circus tent. The minute we get down there, you walk over to him, pat him on the head and make your elephant sound and trunk movement. You also sometimes wave to him when we leave.

The first animal noise you ever made was a cat, mostly because you just call Tiger "Mau" for meow. You were pretty young when you started doing that. Not long after was "oo oo" for "woof woof" but then that was pretty much it for animals for a while. After a hiatus from animal noises, you jumped right back in with the elephant, a bunny ("hop hop hop") a giraffe (looooong neck and you stretch that little neck up as far as your can..actually you have toppled over a few times straining that neck of yours!) an octopus, a snake (which is the cutest because you make this little face and spread your lips out like you're making a big fake smile and make the "ssss" noise in the back of your throat.) Sometimes you will make an animal noise when I don't think there's even one around. You are smarter than mommy. One day at the store, you started saying, "hoo hoo" over and over and I said, "yes, good that's what an owl says but I don't see an owl baby, there are no owls here." You just kept right on "hoo hoo"-ing and I finally realized there's a small stuffed owl on your shopping cart cover. I said, "oh! Owl!! that's right! there is your owl!" Smart little lady:)

For a cow for a while you would just purse your lips together to make an "m" but not make any sound. I could see the wheels turning in that little brain, and I would point and say, "Cow, Mmmoooo, that's right, go ahead and say Mmmmoooo." Last weekend, you finally made the sound come out after making that little M face!

We're still working on chicken, crocodile and others. You kinda have a monkey down. You point at the zebra and look at me in question, but I'm not sure I know what a zebra says...Fiona tried to clear that one up for us, but to be honest I'm still not sure;)

You walk SO fast, everywhere you go. You must get there quickly. You stomp your feet too, a loud little walker for such a tiny thing. You hug your teddy bears, give kisses to your baby doll, dip your snack in Tiger's water bowl, throw yourself onto the floor to have a fit, open and close doors, get into EVERYthing, throw piles of laundry around the room, put every article of clothing you can find on your head, pull an ENTIRE toiler paper roll all over the bathroom or whatever room you can reach it to before it breaks, you grab Tiger's tail and hold on tight as he runs away. You still love reading books, and most of all taking every book off it's shelf. You cannot get enough of the outdoors. The moment we get downstairs in the morning you point to the door and ask to play outside.

If you manage to stay somewhat clean all day long, it's usually inevitable that you ruin our "not a bath night" with one swoop of avocado all over your head at dinner, smashing it in an ear or nostril and mashing it in your hair. This is probably because you love bath time. Any water time really. You still enjoy swim class and are getting so (a little TOO) brave with wandering around the floating mats on your own.

You clean up when we sing the cleanup song from music class. I was shocked when I saw this for the first time. You actually picked up a toy, brought it to the toy bin, and dropped it in. Then, you went back, picked up ANOTHER toy and placed that in the bin as well. WHAT?! Mommy mind blown.

You say "night night" and sometimes something that sounds like "I love you." I tell myself everyday to put it in your baby book, I make notes in my phone so I know exactly when you are doing what. Then I walk past your baby books a hundred times and do nothing with it. I put you to bed and sit down for the first time all day. I glance over and see it on the shelf and can't bring myself to walk the 5 steps to get it and write in it.

Well, the computer is closer and blogging is easier than fitting all of this into a tiny space set aside for "first word ______________________" in the book.

Along with all of these fun things (and, yes I included the face-to-the-floor tantrum a fun thing because sometimes it just makes me laugh,) you also have some new teeth. Molars to be exact. And I think I hate them. Top two have broken through. "They" say once the tooth breaks through, the worst should be over. Hey, "YOU" shut it. "They" know nothing. "They" can suck it. "They" can come over and sleep (read: not sleep) at my house for a week while these sharp little white things from hell make their way through my daughter's gum line. One breaks through, the "worst" for that may be over, but there's always another right under the surface. Leaving red, swollen, puffy sad baby gums.

Okay, maybe teething should be it's own blog post...alas, you are amazing baby girl and sleeping or not, I love you more than words:)

In Between: A 13 Month Update

Hello! So, I have about 5 unpublished posts on here that I haven't been able to make quite right. Instead of going back and figuring out why they're not ready to be posted, I decided to write a new one in hopes that starting fresh would make something publish-worthy. And what is more worthy of publication than a good old catch up on our life? (Thanks, Jaim:)

There is a whole post about what happened to our almost-13 month old. (Kennerly was in the hospital for five days, had surgery, showed us that she is the bravest, strongest little lady we ever could imagine...) But this post will be more about our almost-14 month old.

Snugs,

On March 11, 2015 at 8:51 am, you took your first real steps. It was just within the past week or so that you became interested in walking holding our hands. Before, if we would hold your hands and point you in the right direction and you would just sit down and crawl. You have been standing up (sometimes in the middle of the room) for over a month and cruising and side-stepping around furniture just as long, you just didn't have much interest in taking steps forward. Until last week.

We were in your nursery and you were walking holding both my hands, you let one go on your own and just for the heck of it, I let go of the other one to see what you'd do. You took about two steps toward where we were headed. I squealed! I looked at daddy, "she walked! She just did that without holding on!!" I was clearly stating the obvious, because he was standing right there and saw just what I saw.

We stood you back up and let you stand alone and tried to get you to walk back and forth between us. Then, you took about three steps toward daddy and the same back to me! We were cheering and smiling so big! You were pretty unfazed by the whole thing. I'm not sure you had any idea what you did.

So, now we know you can do it, still not positive YOU know you can do it, so you will walk more just holding a finger of ours and crawl if you really want to go somewhere. You are at the in-between stage, where we are just waiting for you to take off. Then there's no looking back. We were/are in no rush for you to walk. Not that we have been discouraging it, but we haven't been pushing it either. You do what you need to do, grow and meet those milestones at your own pace. Because once you do, you will never again be our baby who just rolls, or just sits up, or just crawls. All the big milestones (and pretty much most of the little ones too) are bittersweet. We get SO excited when you do something new and perfect it, but then there's this little part that becomes nostalgic for the baby who could only ever get anywhere by being scooped up and carried there.

People always say how it all goes so fast. I'm sure if you ask any mother they will tell you it feels "like yesterday" that their child/ren were crawling, toddling around, etc. Heck, I still remember tiny baby Ainsley pulling herself up on furniture and stumbling around trying out her new little language in her tiny little voice. Ainsley is seven now. SEVEN. (Kennie, please don't be seven overnight like she was!)

You have the sweetest little voice and some absolutely adorable words. You call Tiger "Mau" which we decipher to be a version of "meow" because ever since you were tiny tiny when we would see him I say, "good morning Tiger. Tiger, Kitty cat, meow. You see the kitty cat? Meow." So about a month ago you started pointing at him and yelling, "mau!" very excitedly. Now even when you don't see him, you call for him. Sometimes he comes. Those are your favorite times:) And whenever you see any cat you look at us and say, "mau!" (yes, you did this after seeing an orange cat on a cat food bag at the grocery store.)

You say mom and dad, sometimes mommy or daddy. sometimes mom-mom and daaaaad. You draw out the first syllable and cut off whatever syllables come next which is why mom and dad are more often than mommy and daddy. You also call Nanny "Nahn."

You use sign language for other things like "all done" and "milk." Milk is your favorite one. Probably because milk is your favorite thing. I call you my little milk monster. It's very cute when you do this sign with both your hands, you have the sweetest look on your face. Unless you are really wanting to nurse, then you have a crazed look on your face and those little hands move a mile a minute between signing and pulling at my shirt. See? Monster;)

As always, you inspire us everyday to be better. You crack yourself up, you smile so big, you snuggle and babble, you surprise yourself, you surprise us. We love you so much baby girl. Here's one more blog post for your baby book:)

Love,
Mommy & Daddy