Beginning....Again

So my last week of boot camp was in January, and I think I mentioned before that I missed the last 3 days. Wednesday I missed because of some reasons I'd rather not discuss, Thursday was a snow day and when I woke up Friday morning, it was still icy and I just couldn't bring myself to go. I was not too happy with myself, but I almost made it the entire month. I emailed the instructor to tell her how much I appreciated her help getting healthy, and to let her know why I kind of disappeared. I also mentioned in the email that I was going to try very hard on my own to work out consistently and that I would love to do another month right before the wedding. She knew that I'm getting married, because there were 3 other brides in the boot camp and one more just got engaged a few weeks ago so everyone kept yelling "WD! WD!" for "wedding dress" whenever we got tired during a workout. It's a nice little group to work out with:) So, anyhow, she emailed me back, said they loved having me and that she would love to offer me another deal. She said she would charge me for one month but that I can join boot camp from now until the wedding day. One stipulation; I have to write a testimonial for her website for future on-the-fence boot campers. Um, done! Me? Write? Of course! So here I am, signed up again. I did hesitate, but really, how could I pass this up? The chance to get super healthy and into great shape? It's like having a personal trainer just in a group setting. But I hesitated, because I think my frame of mind when I first signed up was that, "hey, one month? I can do one month of waking up at 5 am." But now it's almost 3 months...can I do that? 3 months of waking up at 5 am, going to the gym to shower, working all day...I don't know, I am usually one to give up when things get hard. I don't like that about myself, but it just seems to be what happens. I fear failure, so I give up before I can fail...but isn't that just failing in itself? Yes, it is. So, I signed up. Missed day one. Ugh. Was supposed to be this morning. I got all my stuff ready, set the alarm, filled my water bottle, had my clothes set out. When the alarm went of at 5, I rolled over and saw Oliver in bed (which was super exciting because I hadn't seen him since I left for VA because he was working until midnight last night) and couldn't bring myself to get out of my warm comfy bed with my two warm snuggle buddies (Tiger was curled up with us too.) Plus, I didn't have school today because it's our Winter Break and I knew I could sleep in forever if I wanted to. And I wanted to. Dumb...should have gone to boot camp. Instructor emailed me and said "Caitlyn, where are you?? Get in here!" So, I emailed back and promised to be there tomorrow. So, tomorrow...we begin again.