Six Years and Nostalgic

"I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong."

-babykeek11 AIM profile quote summer '06

On this very day six years ago, I packed up my stuff and made the move to Connecticut. July 31, 2006 I had a "moving mix" on my little pink iPod and blasted it all the way up 95, over the DelMem bridge, the Jersey Turnpike, over the GW bridge and into southern CT. 

The mix had some great songs about growing up, leaving, moving on, etc. One in particular was super dramatic...Rascal Flatts aptly titled "Moving On." Not upbeat for a car ride, but definitely thought provoking. I am sure this song is about some very real life thing that happened to someone and at the time, I definitely felt that I was going through a huge change.

"There comes a time in everyone's life when all you can see are the years passin' by and I have made up my mind that those days are gone." 

I don't think those days are ever gone, I think you always want more time, one more hug, one more minute, more life to live. It's also just more about what you do with the time and I was ready to make the most out of life. I graduated college that summer and was still debating what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go. I actually cried the day after graduation because I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. The uncertainty terrified me. I always felt that I would go somewhere other than Northern Virginia, and wanted to be close to NYC. I did an internship between my junior and senior years of college in southern CT and Manhattan and I loved it. That was probably one of the best summers of my life. Sleeping on the floor in my brothers room, living with three boy roommates, hiding in the trunk of a car to get into an "elite" beach in Greenwich, going out with my brother and his friends, the memories are awesome:) I digress...but that summer is definitely one of the reasons I looked so fondly upon southern CT. It wasn't until the fourth of July in 2006 when my mom and I were up here visiting my brother and some family in the area that I made my final decision to make the move. 

So, the rest of the month I packed, hung out with Megan on my parents deck laying in the sun drinking gin and tonic all day, and squeezed every last moment in with my M7 before being the first of our group to make the journey to live in a different state. 

I moved in with Cameron and began looking for jobs. A friend's father owned a head hunter agency and she hooked me up with him. I was sent on an interview to be a receptionist at a yacht club in Greenwich. It sounded swanky and I was excited. I could figure out what I really wanted to do while working at the front desk and maybe meet a rich Greenwich boy (that was mostly dad's dream;) I was hired on the spot and started the next day. I loved it there, the main woman who ran the reception area was in her forties and so nice and welcoming. She became like a motherly figure and friend as she showed me the ropes and introduced me to the other employees. One of whom was Oliver:)

I was still looking for other jobs in the media field (had to do something with my Comm degree!) and found a freelance position doing encode for a media group. It was in the same building where I did my internship and just so happened to be the same building where Cameron worked (ha, none of this was a coincidence:) 

After about four months of this job I began thinking about what else I could do. I received an email from a friend who was an Au pair in Italy about another Italian family looking for a summer Au pair. It sounded awesome, but I had just graduated, started a new job and should be getting my life on the right path, so I didn't act on anything. A month or so later, I decided what the heck, this could be an awesome opportunity and I checked in with my friend to see if the family had found an Au pair. They had not. The family got in touch with me, had a little phone interview and bam, I was moving to Italy! During this time, I also decided that the media field might not be for me. It was kind of stagnant, not easy to move up and it wasn't as glamorous as I had hoped it might be working "behind the scenes" of TV. I looked back and realized that the happiest I ever was in a job was when I was a camp counselor. I love kids and I always had teaching in the back of my mind, so I began looking into grad school for teaching. I applied to grad school and took the entrance exam less than a week before I left for Italy. I actually found out while in Italy that I got in and I would start as soon as I got back! Super exciting time.

Italy was AMAZING, I had an awesome summer, learned so much about myself and came home to the greatest boyfriend waiting at the airport for me with roses and the brand new Kelly Clarkson CD. Doesn't get much better than that!

I have come a long way since that move in '06. Since coming to Connecticut, I have worked in the media field, gotten a Master's degree, taught in my own classroom for two years, gotten married and I no longer have to hide in a trunk to get into that beach!

Northern VA might not have been where I belonged, but it's always gonna be home:)

"I always find another piece of me walking around these old familiar streets. Thank God for home towns."
-thelifeofkeek blog quote summer '12

I'm a Walker

So, I've written many a blog about exercise and healthy living. Some of you followed me through my boot camp, then through the month of movement, etc. I've been walking for a while now, I'll get really into it and walk everyday and then take a hiatus for whatever reason. I am back into it now. Oliver and I signed up for a 5K and started "training" a few months ago. I put that word in quotes because we aren't training to run the 5K. "Train to WALK a 5K?" you might ask? (as many have...) Yes.

What we wanted/needed was the date. September 9th. We just wanted a goal to work toward and to know we had to be prepared to get up and be responsible for something on a certain day. I have been advised by doctors and trainers NOT to run. EVER. And every time I start walking, get confident and want to go faster, I do...and within days I am injured. I'm not meant to be a runner. Fine. Walking is actually better for your joints and body, so I am okay with it. Plus, I can walk fast and get my heart rate up. So, I am sick of hearing people say things about me and my 5K plans. I don't have this blog to rant and complain, but here I am trying to feel good about myself getting out there and some of the reactions I get about walking are anything but helpful. "You don't need to TRAIN to walk a 5K," "why did you sign up for it if you're just going to walk it?" "what's the point?"

What's the point people? The point is that no matter if I walk one mile in one hour, I am still going further, harder and faster than the old me on the couch. Plus, we are raising money for a good cause. We found an event in Fairfield that raises money for CancerCare; an organization that provides free support, counseling, education and financial assistance to anyone who has been affected by cancer (self, family member, friend.) If you'd like to donate (even the smallest amount!) please visit our site

C and O Donation Page

Anyhow, we will not be walking one mile in an hour because we try to go faster every time we go out. On one recent walk, my trusty MapMyRun app (who speaks out loud to me:) startled us by saying we hit the one mile mark when we were only 14 minutes into our walk. 14 minutes isn't a fast walking mile, but we weren't even trying really and it shocked us that we were moving so much more quickly than our average (slight effort) 18 minute mile. Oliver even said, "wait, is that thing accurate? are you sure?"

The point is that really the goal is to get up and move, be outside, spend time together away from TV and electronic devices (yes, O has become a big fan of the iPad.) We get to breathe fresh air, talk about life, take in the scenery (our fave spot to walk is at the beach) and enjoy each other. Neither of us has lost very much weight (our diet def needs some changes...we eat out way too much) but it's getting in the routine of things and like I said, we are totally lapping our former couch potato selves:)

One Year

So, I recently wrote a whole post about our story. The Doenges story began from somewhat rough beginnings. It confuses my soul to have such devastation and joy at the same time. But after completing the post, I decided not to put it out there. It's a personal story that most people close to us know, but my husband is private so I don't want to air too much of us that he might not be comfortable with.

I just have to say how lucky I am to have become Mrs. Doenges. One year ago this weekend, I married the most amazing man God created. We were married at his mother's bedside in what our pastor described as a "beautiful sanctuary" and I couldn't agree more. The sunlight shone through the windows of the small room filled with our family. You could literally feel the love encompassing us where we stood. My eyes teared and I giddily giggled my way through the vows when the pastor said things like "husband and wife" all the while my strict, German father-in-law giving me looks that said "keep it together," or "enough with the giggling." :)

It was beautiful, small and simple. And perfect. Ellen needed to be a part of our wedding and our marriage, and she was. We hugged and kissed her and I whispered in her ear, "we're married! I'm Mrs. Doenges now too!" and a smile slowly made it's way across her face. It is a moment and a day I will never forget.

We took pictures in the garden, drank champagne and fed each other a chocolate frosted doughnut from Dunkin Donuts.

Ellen might not have made it to our big wedding in the church and the reception at the country club, but she was witness to our exchange of vows to one another on that beautiful May day in Wilton. And for that, we are forever grateful.

30 Days of Thankful

So, I think it's a good idea to take the month of November to reflect on things you are thankful for. I always take a few minutes on Thanksgiving to make sure the important people in my life know how thankful I am for them, but why not take the time everyday to think about the things in your life for which you are thankful. In fact, it should be an everyday all year round thing...but let's not get ahead of ourselves. As you know, I like the short term goals. 30 days of thankful. Considering the fact that today is November 2nd, you get two today. Yesterday, I was thankful for Home Goods. The whole chain actually; Marshalls, TJ Maxx and Home Goods. These are probably my favorite stores ever. I can spend hours in them. Sometimes not even buying a thing, and sometimes literally going for therapy. Just to walk around and look at stuff and amaze myself at all the deals! Yesterday I went to Home Goods AND Marshalls. It was a good day. And I was thankful for them.

Today, I have a few things (who says it has to be only one thing per day?) This morning, I woke up to the snuggliest, softest, cutest little Tiger Face. He is usually more snuggly in the morning, but today he was extra snuggly. He laid down right next to my face and put his nose right on my nose. Then he gave me some little Tiger kisses. (I think he heard me talking about wanting a puppy, so he is getting in touch with his puppy side...he kinda thinks he's a dog anyway.) It was cute and I woke up thinking, "I am so thankful to have this little guy in my life."

I think a common theme throughout this month will be my husband...I am thankful for him for a million reasons. Tonight at dinner, the song he was supposed to dance with Ellen to at our wedding came on. I lost it. Cried into my pasta. Just looking at him across the table made me swell with thankfulness that he is not only in my life, but that I get to be his wife:)

So there's day one and two. Look for a blog or fb post everyday for thankfulness:)

L-Ain-guage

So, when Ainsley first began talking she had the absolute cutest way of saying things. All kinds of things, names and everything, including her own. This became a new way for all of the adults in Ainsley's life to speak to each other in Ainsley language (L-Ain-guage, get it?) Sometimes it was just the WAY she would say certain words, like DA-dd-Y, she would raise her tiny little voice at the DA part and the Y part. Then, she started saying aunts and uncles names. Jaime's sister, Carolyn, gets the gold here. She goes by Aunt DeeDee. Repetitive sounds are the easiest for children to say, like Mommy, Daddy, etc. So, Ainsley could say DeeDee before she got to the rest of the names. Which is fine because anything she said was adorable:) The K or hard C sounds are hard for kids to make right away too, so Keek became Teek and Uncle Cam became Tam. Amanda became just Manda or Manna for a while, we tried to make Oliver easy for her and since people call him O.D. we thought we'd try that. Which turned into Adu, again, adorable. Anyhow, most of these she has self-corrected by now as a four year old, and even though she can now say the isolated C/K sound, we are still Teek and Tam.

So, the point of all this is that we still speak like her. On a daily basis, Oliver and I speak to each other in Ainsley-talk. "Hewo?" comes in text form sometimes, but we answer the phone this way every time one calls the other. "What/how are you do-ning?" is how we greet one another, more often than not answering with "My fine." When we are getting ready to go somewhere we say, "Rea-y? Doh" (ready, without the 'd' sound and 'go' with a 'd') Need confirmation for something? "Otay!"

And our most favorite is our little baby Tida. Tiger came home to Fairfax with me for the summer once and pretty much spent the whole time hiding under the bed from Bailey and Bear. When Ainsley was visiting she squatted down next to the bed and called him, "Tidaaaa! Tidaaa! Tida aahh you?! Tum see me!!" and coaxed him out of his hiding spot to "tum see my new petty soos." (come see my new pretty shoes.) So we now call our baby Tida and we call him from the other room, "Tida!! Tum see us!" Oliver also calls me Teek.

Here is a sample convo:

"Hewo?" "Hello?"
"Hi Teek! How aah you? "Hi Keek! How are you?
"My do-ning fine. What you do-ning?" "I'm doing fine, what are you doing?"
"Oh, nussing, where's Tida?" "Oh, nothing, where's Tiger?"
"Tida busy seeping. I was donna take a picture of him tuz he's so toot right now."
"Tiger is busy sleeping. I was gonna take a picture of him 'cause he's so cute right now."


Any way we can keep our bug close to us on a daily basis:)

I Wonder Where I'd Be...

Sometimes I look back on things and wonder how my life would be different if I made different decisions. I think everyone wonders what might have been if another path was chosen. Not saying that this means I, or anyone else who wonders is regretting the choices made, but it is just something to think about. What made me think of this today? Well, I went to see Dolphin Tale (good movie, no need to see it in 3-D though...) and I thought about how much I would love to work with animals. This is different, maybe actually a step beyond my want to be a veterinarian. I have always loved animals, dolphins in particular. They fascinate me. Since I was little I always wanted to swim with them. That dream became a reality my senior year of college on spring break in Mexico. It was pretty cool. I don't want to say I was disappointed, but...I had always kind of hoped to actually swim with them, like swim around in the same pool. We got to pet them, have them kiss us and go to the middle of the pool, put our feet out and have them come up from behind and push the bottoms of our feet until we were practically air born! Now that part was awesome. However, I wanted to swim with them, spend time with them. I'm sure there's somewhere you can pay to do that, but this place was get in, meet and greet, get out.

I digress...the point I am getting at is that there have always been things I wanted to do, and lots of them. And most of them are a career. Which you can really only choose one of. I wanted to be a marine biologist. I wanted to be a veterinarian. I wanted to write screenplays. I wanted to be a teacher. The writing, I can do on the side thankfully, even if it would be nice to have as a full career. But the others? You can't really be a vet or a marine biologist "on the side." In high school, I applied to a school near the water in North Carolina because of their marine biology department and internship opportunities. I was wait listed...in the mean time, I accepted my early decision acceptance into Longwood. I liked the school, I liked the distance from home, the quaint town, the promise of an education where the professors actually know who you are instead of lectures of 500. As I have mentioned before, I went into Longwood as a Pre-Veterinary Med major. That changed pretty quickly (before classes even began) to Communication Studies. I thought I would get what I needed there to work behind the scenes in TV and/or film. While I learned a lot about the how and why people communicate, I got little in the department of actual broadcasting, film making, etc. I did, however, take every single creative writing class Longwood had to offer and was even given my own class, one-on-one with a professor my senior year for Advanced Screen Writing. That was pretty cool. One of my creative writing professors passed along one of the scenes I wrote to another professor who taught the advanced class. I had a scheduling conflict and wasn't able to enroll in her class. She loved my writing so much that she offered to meet with me twice a week for my own advanced class. It was an amazing opportunity and I learned a lot that semester.

Anyhow...off topic again? Weird. So, I just sometimes wonder if somewhere along the way, if my decisions were different or things worked out differently, where would I be today? If I had gotten into that school and gone for marine biology, what would I be doing now? That opens up a whole world I know nothing about, so who knows where I would be?! What if I had kept my pre-vet med major at Longwood and never known the wonderfulness of the Longwood Comm. Studies Department? What if I had stayed at Ascent Media, working "behind the scenes" in TV? What if I hadn't applied to grad school or spent that summer in Italy? Again, these aren't regrets, just questions. I know that parts of my life are solid, as solid and wonderful as they could be. I have an amazing husband (who, if I had not moved to CT would never have met) an amazing best friend (who Longwood brought me) an awesome group of friends who mean the world to me, a beyond amazing family. I just wonder about my career sometimes. I love teaching, but would I have been better at something else? Just feeling a bit reflective this evening.

Butterflies

I still get 'em. The night before the first day of school has always been a night for butterflies for me. I love everything that has to do with going back to school. The back-to-school mall shopping, new shoes, new backpack, new school supplies! I love it all and always have! I could spend hours at Staples, the back-to-school section at Walmart, Target, you name it- I'm there. There's just something about new notebooks, new pens, a box of newly sharpened pencils or crisp new crayons. And the brand new, blank calendar just waiting to be filled with important dates for the school year! Man I just get so excited even thinking about it!

This mild obsession with all things school supply could be a reason I went into the teaching profession. Now, my days leading up to the start of school are spent browsing at the Educational Warehouse, the dollar bins at Target and the same wonderful aisles of Staples and Walmart. And now I get to buy teacher things too, like a lesson plan book and books full of bulletin board ideas! I don't need a new backpack, but I browse through them anyway:) I get to decorate my classroom with bright colors and inviting posters. And I get to use my teacher handwriting, which I love doing. Perfecting each curve and line to form the perfect letter. Nerd, party of one.

I just thought that I would blog about this very exciting day. The first day of school is tomorrow for us, today was open house and my butterflies woke me up at 5:00 this morning. Those were more nervous butterflies because parents come to open house too. I'm not nervous about speaking in front of people (thanks COMM 101) but these people are entrusting me with the care and education of their children, their most prized possessions. So the "what if they don't like me?" question teeters in the back of my mind. The kids I am not afraid of. I love kids, I love teaching them and watching them soak everything up. The butterflies that will wake me up tomorrow will be pure excitement:) So whether your first day was yesterday, today, tomorrow, whenever, good luck to all my teacher friends! Have a wonderful year!!